the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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