She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
