I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
