And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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