there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The Olympian is in my bed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
