garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
