I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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