when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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