just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Your shirt... Was in my pants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
