So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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