New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
His nipple licking is glorious
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