i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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