Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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