One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
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I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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