There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
