oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
