I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
