I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize