I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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