Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
