I just pynch a tree in the face
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
