im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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