I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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