i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
