I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
