Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
two words: eviction party
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
