I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
