no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
