i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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