I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
