It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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