i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
