dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
