You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize