What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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