i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
