I puked a lego.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
