This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
