I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
