the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
