the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
