Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
