Soap is not a condiment
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
how does that bad decision feel?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
