so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
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ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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