I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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