I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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