i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
