need another drink. this is the easiest way
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
