i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
