Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize