I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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