they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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