For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got inside last night via doggy door
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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