so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
