Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
home. puking in laundry basket.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
