Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
