Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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