p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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